With teary eyes, I wrote this following entry upon receiving a Birthday gift:-
A Birthday gift was send by a friend to me today, whom I back-stabbed in front of Victoria earlier upon her meeting up with us. A friend, who has turned to a foe. Maybe it was me, maybe it was her. But misunderstandings began without speaking things up. And misunderstanding after misunderstandings causes hatred. That’s how a fragrant flower turns foul and ugly. Things has certainly got bad between us. I regretted it so much that I hated myself so much right now. For blaming her entirely. I still remember how much I talked-bad of her in front of my friends. But isn’t friend supposed to correct and forget?
Whichever way, today is the first time I cried upon receiving a gift from a friend who has turn to someone I care less about. I don’t even care to open the present until next morning initially. But, I couldn’t sleep because of the caffeine from the cola that I took in the cinema earlier, causes me to opened it, out of boredom. What I didn’t really expect to receiving from her, is a hearty gift from her. It was a card, make out of boards of chipboards, decorated nicely with wild dried flowers and wordings. I remembered how difficult for me to do Yuna’s present earlier, not to mention coming out with an idea. Her this present is certainly 10 times more difficult. I can say, she has put a lot of effort in making this present- even she would have guessed I hated her through my cool tone over the phones and facebook. It was then my mind flash-backed on my 20th birthday cake that she baked for me, the time when she listened attentively about my problems, the time when we spent most of our evenings together during our freshmen, and also the crazy-clown-crush thingy. Never once she objected my dreams. A friend who has supported me all this while and I could just say it’s fake? OH, FUCK OFF MEL! I seriously hated what I did and I felt like I just received a tight slap on my face.
Still don’t know how to confront her later, but I hope things would improve after this-though I doubted things will turn back and be the same. Should she read this blog, I hope she would forgive me, and shall both of us make our friendship on sailing again. Bon voyage!
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