From the very begining, I knew it. Sth was wrong. Has gone seriously wrong. But I just don't wanna think about it. I knew, thinking about it means I admit its true. But not thinking about it - I'm not living in reality. In fact that's the whole point of cognitve dissonance right? A situation that you can't really believe that's you.
I don't know since when or what causes me to become like this. I kinda forgotten how to laugh, smile and be happy about things. I kinda forgot that happy go lucky me, the light-hearted me, the friendly me, the approachable me. What am I now? I guess.... some crazy depressive woman - who in fact everyday sulks, quiet, unfriendly look. I just don't know what's wrong with me.
I can't bear with it anymore. I know, as a human, I'm supposed to a social machine. But, I tend to lost those humanly skills. Where had it gone? I don't know....... I hope that I will find it out soon..........
p/s: i kinda regret that I msned Chin Shi Hong just now. I don't know why he's the person i resort to whenever i feel terribly bad. But i know i shouldn't. Stupid mel
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