Unidentified - LOVE

Love, Undefined (The Problem About Marriage)

Sacrifice, Partnership, companionship, being together, care of each other, think of each other, value and respect…. Is it enough to define what love is? I guess, all these are pretty much brief and has bring out the meaning of LOVE at face value. By the way, the type of LOVE that I'm referring here is the love of your partner (boyfriend or what so ever). Although I'd never been into a B/G relationship yet, I guess I gained some insights from my friend's experience as well as people around me throughout these years. The question here is; how do you say when you LOVE someone? What does that mean and how does it supposed to feel like. I'd asked this question time and time again to different people. And in general, they simply answer me in ambiguity and vague. Some of the top 3 answer:-

1. You simply feel good being around with them
   
2. You think of them often
   
3. You wanna have sex with the

Given some thought about it, is what LOVE really meant then? Isn't all these reasons people in general provide is little too vague? And does when people provide vague answer meant actually they themselves doesn't know how it REALLY felt like to be in love? In my opinion, I believe love is something more than these 3 reasons. You see, you're most probably gonna feel this way for the next few decades towards this prospective partner, and do you think this reason is still valid for years to come? Wouldn't this feeling just get old and soon withered away? Just like new furniture in your house, after 6-7 years, you seem to barely notice it actually exists since you'd get used to it being there for a while.

The reason why I brought up this question is that I see nowadays; most of the marriages end up divorce. And most of the reason were due to external affair ( on either party). Well, the question is why? These episodes are getting more and more common as if it is a ritual for most marriages to end up divorces. I wonder what happened to the vows you made in front of the many who had attended on your wedding day or the countless "forever" you use to express how much you care for each other. Who were to blame? The non-stop-nagging wife, or the seldom-speak-up husband or the wolfy-third-party?

Some time ago, I read from a book; the author state that since LOVE is some lifelong commitment, so both parties should have strong common ground. As in, you both do agree on certain things, do fetish of some similar stuff, or simply have the same goal in life. This may in a way helped you both so see eye to eye and avoid many unnecessary conflicts. Although there may still be some difference in certain aspect (which otherwise you had just married to a mirror), make sure the difference are kept as little as possible. Can you imagine living with a person who has so many things that is so-not-you for the rest of your life? Are you going to tolerate him/she (come on, we're talking about for decades man; you may say you'll change but how far can you change?). At times, you may not agree with certain things he see, but you respect his point of view. Well, this may be something important to take not about. So, next time whenever you see two couples spending time together window shopping at the mall, don't be jealous but rather pity them. Because they has nothing else better to do than buying things ( wasting $ ) together. Their relationship is rather empty. Think again, do you think the guy enjoy spending hours choosing the right clothes or even bra with for his partner (he may rather watch football or play Dota at home!). As for the girl, she may think her guy doesn't really give any good criticism on the clothes she chooses like her friends. "Oh, how boring!".

So I guess rule 1 in choosing a right prospective partner should have strong common ground. Like, they have the same hobbies, liking, and interests. And that is where communication elements start to play role in understanding each other. Otherwise, what are both of you gonna talk about if you don't share any similar interest? Think about it and share your opinion with me. Btw, this is my personal opinion. I have not really dated someone and so, I may simply end up like the couples-going-shopping when I really dated someone. Who knows? It's too early to say anything. ^^